It is only your heart I care About

I have put everyone in danger. My selfishness. I could not look past my emotions of happiness to be with him, the one line,"It is only your heart I care about" that he spoke to me that swept me off my feet, to see that by running away with him, my new home would be torn to pieces. It has been four days now that we have been in war with the Greeks. Troy against my hometown, my father leading the army to my destruction. The brave men that run out onto the beach, I watch them fall as Greek arrows pierce their hearts. And poor Paris, his own brother killed and dragged away without a funeral. Today, I am standing out on the palace balcony, hoping, praying that soon this will be over. I will never forgive myself for my decision to run away with Paris. Everyone in Troy acts nice to me, but I know they talk about me behind my back, that they are blaming me for the war. I don't know what to do. Sometimes at night I wake up screaming, because Menelaus haunts my dreams, killing Paris over and over again, and imprisoning me, letting my starve to death. I sometimes think that I should just run away, Paris and I. But then I would be a coward, and everyone would hate me more. I don't know what to do! HELP!!!